Without the solitude of the heart, the intimacy of friendship, marriage and community life cannot be creative. Without the solitude of the heart, our relationships with others easily become needy and greedy, sticky and clinging, dependent and sentimental, exploitative and parasitic, because without the solitude of the heart we cannot experience the others as different from ourselves but only as people who can be used for the fulfillment of our own, often hidden, needs.
Nouwen on Communal Life
From Reaching Out by Henri Nouwen